I wish..

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I wish to be candid
I wish to be uninhibited
I wish to be free from the what ifs, the unsaid voice, the unheard words
I wish to fully sink into my spirit
To do what i embody, to ask what i think
Without consideration, without second thoughts, without permission

I wish to be an entity
Unspecified, undefined by society
I wish to embody only me and the soul that encapsulate my being
I wish to live and impart the magic that ignited my childhood
And retain that light while becoming an adult

I wish to always feel that fleeting momen
To never ask the comforts of the normal
To fly as if what you perceive in your head is real
To inject imagination without limitation

But the word ‘wish’ has served it’s purpose in this prose
As i abruptly shut my book and confide within ‘my boundaries
Reality is an understood mess of everyone’s contribution
Despite the fact that you never asked for it
I want to be allowed to tear down my wall, brick by brick
Because i can.. because it’s alright
Because it’s not painful to bare your soul

But reality had urged me to feel the necessity of confiding inside that shield
Because eyes speaks words that shouldn’t be there
And thoughts react in a way that shouldn’t matter
Now, i feel that safety is a necessity
And i never felt so protective of myself
Up until I’ve stepped out and thrived what i face everyday

I like how math is black and white
Or how logic is yes and no
And how imagination and creativity is alive beyond the norm
But i never liked how reality is as grey as the in bet-weens
Or as unimaginative as facts

I hate how calculated i have become
Here we go again, facing the reality wearing a facade on the way
Like my sanity and dignity depends on it
Like my truth is defined around it

There is something I’m still not getting
Or there is something reality is not willing to give in
Forgive this artist trapped inside a calculating mind
As i wallow in frustration of what i think the world could have been
Or what makes a human being truly beautiful

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