We ended up thinking we are more than that. They ended up believing we’re more than that. He ended up wanting us to be more. I, on the other hand, just stared out of the coffee shop window.
I began to see it now. The possibly weak connection. The fleeting excitement of romance. And that too much investment on that chance.. That chance..
But what if he was just a lesson I needed to learn? What if I’m just a mistake he needed to do?
What if we were aware of what we were but kept going. We didn’t listen to reality. We didn’t allow ourselves to fully pay attention of what was really going on.. Because we can’t Because we won’t.
Well, thank god for experience, though. I guess. Because those wonders will remain what ifs. I’ve done that. I’ve taken that path. And I have a principle: to only live an experience and never again once the lesson is learned.
So, he leaned forward, eyes teary and pleading.
“Please..” was the word that came from his muffled voice.
We were to decide. I were to decide.
“No…” was my feeble reply.
I got up and walked away, never looking back.
No one ran after me. No one stopped me.
Someday, I’ll have the courage to face and understand this again. Him again. This whole thing, perhaps. But right now, I just need to stop myself from repeating something obvious.