WOHOO! 45 Followers!! Thank you awesome people!!
This is good news to me! ^^ I will DEFINITELY start posting my story/novel starting January 2016 despite not reaching 50 followers. But, hopefully, I’d reach that count someday.. Anyway, thanks again and have an awesome Holiday!! Stay Epic!!
We had conceived our own demise.
Our lust for power is the nurturer.
Men start wars agnostically.
Disregarding the existence of others.
Innovation is a false medium to the gates of contentment.
It is the menacing catalyst of our planet’s death.
We are too vain, too selfish to even admit this.
We turn to the other cheek and plow through our own extinction.
“Father, forgive them, for they do know what they are doing..
But they are too tainted in their own corruption..”
I could never muster enough courage to resolve my confusion. Maybe, I enjoy the chaos so much. Because just when I find my resolution, I bounce back to my old habit. I know how time is wasted with this unnecessary struggle. If I was wiser, I bet I’ve skipped steps knowing I don’t need to take them. But I am who I am and I want everything to make sense and sink in. I want things to flow as it is. Never forced. Never slacked. I hope I’m wise enough to just listen to my intuition then follow it. But since up until now, I haven’t defined my necessary evils so my best bet is to just pay close attention. And to be able to closely listen to my intuition, worrying is needed. It is the only drive that’s effective enough to stir me to the right direction IF allocated to the right attention. It is the very trait that could muster so much dedication from a person to a point that it is obsessive. It can filter thoughts or voices a person thinks it doesn’t need to hear. Worrying, instead of being a catalyst to procrastinating, can be productive if we worry that we might not be hearing the right voice ( our intuition or God).
Existence: Why is it so important to solve it’s puzzle? What is it’s meaning, anyway? Why do we only believe that we have truly existed if we have found true happiness? Why is the meaning of our existence limited to a certain emotional state? What if we are meant to be sad sometimes? What if we are meant to be angry at times? Be hungry? Fuck up? Get lost and then find our way back? Or what if.. we just exist because we need to exist and just that.
My heart is enveloped in a painful sear caused by confusing things I have yet to resolve but failed because I’m not their yet. Or because I don’t want to right now. Or because at that moment, it made sense but now it doesn’t. But it is true that, reason calms the storm within us. Maybe, there is so much I need to understand. Or feel. Or recognize. Or accept. Or be grateful of. But I’m a learner. And I value myself enough that I strive hard to calm my waters. I intend not to be trapped in a loop of masochistic pleasure by settling for less. I intend to treat myself of a level I KNOW it deserves. It is with this internal dedication that a type of love will be formed. And this love, I am sure, will be pure. It will be strong. It will be definite.
“I pride at being cynical because it is my battle wound after reality devoured and spited me out. I wear it as a badge because cynicism and dry humor makes me unique, quipped, sophisticated and an adult. Yes an adult.
I am an adult because I have overcome my overly trusting or hopeful tendencies and naive perception of the world. All that sadness, dark humor and bitterness in my soul are the marks of a true survivor. I got by after facing what my parents didn’t accurately prepared me for.
I am my smart-ass side comments, my rolling eyes and my realistic grasp. Yes, I am that…”
– Now read this with a HINT of sarcasm.
Yeah.. Smell that.. Smell that overdue pubescent angst..
Yeah.. Hear that “justified immaturity”. Irk at that prolonged in-denial..
I’m going to start writing about this story I have in mind in this blog once I reach 50 followers. Yep, that’s the dream.. Currently, I’ve got 38 followers.. My then burning desire to improve and be good at this is just.. It’s depleting.. I’m just trying not to lose the thirst totally.. I’ve already relapsed for a month.. Wow.. The struggle is real! T_T
Sexual objectification has become one of the most talked about issue these days. I for one spend too much time on the internet to notice that girls do wear lesser clothes. I’ve surfed around youtube, tumblr and facebook to see that women post more suggestive pictures/videos. And artists who do not take their influence responsibly spend too much time twerking, being vulgar and just affirming that: “Yes! As a woman, being sexually objectified is the coolest thing!”
Now I won’t be worried if almost all teens had sound mind. That they’d basically have similar coping mechanisms with these kids in this video:
But all kids aren’t like that. Some would follow trends mindlessly. So the question I’d like to ask is.. Will a mindless following of any trend hurt our society? Maybe.. But if women voluntarily place themselves as sexual objects of desire then the worst consequence is the mindless following of rape culture. Yes, rape culture is happening. It is not prominent, (thank god!) but it could be if women keeps wearing suggestive clothes.
I know I may sound prude. Or some may argue that these acts are a form of self expression. They could even point out that it is a form of self empowerment to some extent. I think I get that. But, expression (say art) can also be expressed in other way. I mean, come on! When you look at Nicki Minaj’s video there is only one thing that comes into your mind: sex. And that is sexual objectification right there. As one teen has rightfully stated: “Still don’t think that way was the right way to show that (referring to the fact that the video was a way of showing feminism) “.
Plus, it is somehow prevalent that nudity + highly sexual content materials are BARELY filtered or restricted these days. These materials are also easily accessible. (The concrete example: 50 Shades of Grey. Yup, that movie) Should the internet be blamed? Yes at some degree but the global community must act responsibly to address that. In a more realistic and personal scale though, I think parents can step in on this matter. Will kids care about the implications and consequences of sexual objectification? I can’t really say that. When something is easily accepted in a given culture, then I think that society would care less.
But I can say this. I really wish that their would be a greater voice to counter this current trend. I really hope Hollywood stars, Music Artists and Models will put more clothes on. They can significantly influence teens.
I really wish this trend could be amended. Hopefully when I turn 50, I won’t be horrified with what kids might do at that time. Hopefully when I turn on the TV, ( or whatever technology’s working on that time) I won’t see a rape scene or any other extremely intolerable sexual act and my grand son would laugh at me because I’m too old school. I hope I won’t hear him say: “Relax Grandma. These days, that’s normal. Everyone’s doing that.”
Oh, Dear God.
A passion is a creative frustration we can’t easily fulfill because it can’t pay the bills. So we just passively/aggressively pursue it depending on our driving force. Hence, the creation of this rant. Here I am again, giving this thing yet another attempt. I’m scribbling all my gits, blood and gore because I apparently can’t stop my fingers from typing. I’m hooked, I suppose. Yeah.. I’m hooked.
And it seems to me that the writing realm feels like a high school mess hall. It is overcrowded. It is overwhelming. There are too many noise and too many voices that wants to be heard. And with these voices, you can determine a notable trend. You can sense that some people’s blog has bigger voices, hence, they have a bigger audiences. I notice that readers are more drawn to them because they write impressionable pieces. You know, stuff that haunts you after reading. And you want to read more and more and more.
I’m one of those readers who loves to find literature of that impact. I’d love reading from someone when their writing are highly relatable. BUT it has come to my attention that I seem to not have gotten that way of writing, yet. I noticed that I write entries that seems bland. Write ups that could easily be missed. And despite my “still learning” stage, my passion seems to have a life of its own. It doesn’t seem to allow me to laze around. My passion wants me to stay up all night. My eyes are all droopy and tired but my passion will not let me relax up until I write something satisfying. So to quench it’s bizarre thirst, I am trying to find an angle on how to transition from writing bland stuff to writing entries with characters. I feel that it is a struggle.
So hey, If anybody has encountered this dilemma, feel free to say anything.
I’ve tried living within the boundaries of the norms. I’ve tried following that unspoken rule book society has written. That rule book which paints those picturseque stages of our life that all people must go through so that the majority will approve of your life choices. I’ve struggled trying to diligently follow it. But it has come to my attention that normalcy was never a ride I’m too thrilled to take.
I am well aware that I don’t really know half of myself. But I too can tell that a free spirit embodies my being. I possess a unique and willfull core. My mind wanders off easily and my courage could back it up with a heartbeat. The satisfaction traveller’s get when they geographically explore the world is synonymous with the thrill I get when I unravel layer after layer of who I am.
I can be reading things wrong. Or I might be on the right track. I might just be greatly influenced by a trending moral of “self-empowerment”. Or maybe, I am partly recognizing a piece of of my truth.
I understand that I might take a non-convential route when my free spirit takes flight. I understand that whispers might spread in this conservative, holistic and highly-involved society I live in. I find it limiting to consider some experiences as odd, taboo or a mistake. As long as I abide a sound principle: non self-centered and non-harming to other people principle, then it is safe to trudge through my life. I have nothing to lose. Might as well give it a shot.
I have no idea if this is pointless or not. I have no idea if this will take me anywhere. This is not a mission to find happiness. This is however, a personal quest of unclipping the wings of my soul.
I want to write all my angst.. 😦
Sometimes, I just want to be left alone by the world. By what people have become.
Insincerety, Vanity & Shallowness has been too immersed to the cultural mainstream, it’s hard to find anything geniune. We’ve become too distracted on focusing what’s on the surface that we forget cultvating what’s inside. We got too busy making good impressions that honest and geniune connections are taken for granted.
She is more beautiful. He is more cooler. So what? It all feels vapid anyway.
Plus, there is this tendency nowadays that everything with a cause or of good intention has to become a trend or a revolution like being feminist, anti-racial or supporting gender equality. What is up with that? It feels like anything becomes a marketing promotion from a small voice. The sincerity of it all is gone because eventually, it becomes an annoying gimmick anyone will ignore. The point is then defeated.
I’ve got more branded stuff.
I’ve got cooler pictures.
I’ve gone to more places.
I’m more fit and model-like.
So fucking what. Social media, thank you for stirring society.