Chapter 3 – Nonchalance

Previous Chapter: Chapter 2 – Rainy Days & Bad Eggs

Nat was slick at avoiding people.

He leaned on the door frame staring blankly at nothing while people pass by. His father’s party bore him to death. This company, these talks about his glorified accomplishments made his insides reject the very thought of adulthood. He ran his hand through his hair as he let out an exhausted sigh. He likes to think that his silent presence on the least crowded corner would be enough to discourage curious gaze. He hoped it was enough to discourage any form of opening. Generally, he didn’t like to talk or connect with this company. This was another phase he had to go through to appease the ever daunting figure in their family: his bully father and his narcissistic indulgence on his image.

But people were not polite that night. They had been curious for a month. From that very day he walked into the office with his air of nonchalance, it seemed he owed them an explanation. People could not contain their curiosity about his disposition. They could not keep their question. They were curious with his anguish that he somehow constantly carries on his shoulder. Or so they assumed.

Nat licked his lips as he senses this curiosity. He looked down, picked his cigarette from his pocket and silently walks out of the room to the balcony, effortlessly sticking to his unconcerned composure.

Minutes later, Olivia walked into the room. This kind of gathering was not here scene. She scanned through the sea of faces and concluded these were the same people she saw five times a week. Maybe because she had a bleak week or maybe because she grew frustrated with the new guy’s general lack of interest to anything, Olivia, for that night, was in a certain state of funk. She wished she could spare them the weekend.

Minutes after trying to change her mood, she gave up on her efforts at socializing. She scanned the place and darted to the balcony.

”It’s already occupied…” a polite voice from the dark greeted her when she stepped into the balcony.
Startled, she fumbled and apologized. She was about to turn around and go back when Nat emerged from the darkness.

”It’s alright… I’m done…” He threw his stub into the dark while walking back to the party.  He didn’t even bother on lingering around and went straight to the main door, curious gaze following him.

Olivia’s funk worsened and her frustration boiled to an intolerable degree.

Why did I even bother…? It was all Olivia could think of. The night was young but any hopes of enjoyment were futile for her.

Next Chapter: Chapter 4 – Gossips


Chapter 2 – Rainy Days & Bad Eggs

Previous Chapter: Chapter 1 – New Guy

The rain didn’t bother Olivia.

Despite the cold drenched inconvenience it causes, she found warmth looking at droplets falling from the sky. She was standing in front of their office building, waiting for the heavy down pour to slow down. A small smile had spread on her face while she observed the enticing scene of crystal waters dropping from her lavender umbrella. A tingling sensation of infinite happiness caused her to long for her warm pillows. She imagined burying herself in the sea of thick duvets. A hot coffee, a cozy bed, all these heavenly comforts were waiting for her in her empty apartment. But she was standing in the rain, half of her body soaked. She exhaled a deep sigh. She tried checking if the down pour slowed but it was eminent that there were no changes.

Sweater Weather. She mused while longing. She tried to distract herself by thinking of other things. Her smile grew bigger when her thoughts wandered back to that new guy who came into the office today. Despite being incredibly curious, she didn’t try to ask around for his details. She’s trying to change her mind about it anyway. He isn’t exceptionally attractive. She started. I mean there isn’t ANYTHING exceptional about him, really. That was her attempts of discouraging herself. But those rumors she heard about him, though. Definitely, those were awfully curious.

It started few weeks ago. Olivia noticed that the office was in frenzy. She didn’t bother listening as to what the fuzz was all about but Alisa, the loudest mouth in the office, felt obligated to announce any exciting bits her claws grabbed on. She graciously shared that the president’s son (a college dropout) was about to intern as one of the executives these coming weeks. Base on the whispers Alisa heard, this guy bares the typical bad egg reputation. What separates him from the stereo typical bad egg though was that he didn’t possess any obvious self destructive vice. He wasn’t a big spender or a party whore. He wasn’t a drug addict or an alcoholic. He was just those disappointing sons who performed poorly as Alisa loudly asserted. Maybe, Alisa speculated, this delinquent is an introvert with a low IQ and a low self esteem who is intimidated by his dad’s shadows. Everyone devoured this speculation and made theories of their own. Olivia rolled her eyes at the vicious and disgusting ordeal.

Eventually, the day that he must come into the office arrived. Everyone’s eyes peered and necks crooked when he walked the hallway. Olivia was curious of how indifferent he took the attention. Maybe, he expected it that’s why he was a standoffish. Or maybe, he generally doesn’t give a fuck. Either way, despite his efforts of a nonchalant facade, his eyes to her held an untold truth.

Maybe, she started to feel defensive for him because she dejected on how nasty the rumors has gone despite not knowing him properly. Maybe, she rooted for him because she hated his father.

Either way, up to this point, Olivia doesn’t even know his name. And despite her efforts of discouraging her interest, this guy was consistently filling her day dreams.

Next Chapter: Chapter 3 – Nonchalance

Chapter 1 – New Guy

Olivia’s sincerity and lack of experience made her vulnerable. And when their eyes met, she already knew she would be teased.


That new guy silently came in. He carried his bag with one sling and walked to his desk. He licked his lips as he sense he was getting everyone’s attention. But who could blame him. His casual clothing stood out a midst the sea of slacks, neck ties, pencils and blouses. With his hooded sweatshirt, plain jeans, rough dirty hair and music booming over his head phone, you could tell he’d like to be left alone. But people tried to pry in a subtle way. His nonchalance stirred their curiosity. His strong light brown eyes that pierced through anyone made them follow his every move.

That split moment when their eyes met placed her in a trance. He blinked and cast his eyes down immediately. It took her a moment to realize what happened. She snapped back to reality with a startled upright bolt. Her noisy fumbling broke everyone’s curious gaze and gossips. Everyone then casually hushed and settled back to their work as if nothing had happened.  Like the rest, she faced her screen while recalling where she had left off.

He’s not even that attractive… the cue to her new day dreaming began. I mean come on, why wear those clothes to work.. The tone of revolt in her head made her less convinced. She knew it was a bit too late especially when she saw the way his eyes lit up with curiosity when it met hers.

Hence, in between sipping her coffee and the silent clacking of her keyboard, she was beginning to float into a date in a coffee shop.. Giggling and playfully teasing that new guy 5 cubicles away from her.

Next Chapter: Chapter 2- Rainy Days & Bad Eggs

Take a Hit

Into the rabbit hole I go; causing a stir to my insides
The uncertainties are intensified.
Sometimes, I don’t know why I’m here.
But I am where I am, anyway.

And I want to stay afloat,
Amidst the chaos; above the confusion
The detachment is tempting
The state of turning it all off
To not give a fuck; the idea is sublime

I worship this; this beautiful fucked up moment
Surrounded by just a millisecond of escape
I yearn for your unrealistic state
Your bliss is temporarily satisfying

I hear booming music
Souls detached and I vow to myself that coldness is ideal
I am weak; I am stupid
And it’s alright for this moment

Gone are all the nonsense
Gone are all the bad things in my head
I’m flying in bliss

Gone are all the nonsense
Gone are all the bad things in my head



Don’t get any closer.. ” Isla giggled, teasingly pushing Euan further.

His lips (the ones that she haven’t tasted yet) was forming a smirk in response. Her insides flipped as she blushed.

No.. ” His deep voice was delicious. It was a mixture of flirting and nervousness. She looked down and agreed in silence.

They were at a comfortable point in their unhurried pace. It seemed, they both understood, that rushing won’t do any good. To pursue their whirlwind emotions might overpower or mislead them.  The intoxicating mixture of excitement, newness and heady feelings might cause them to erupt into thousand consolations of pure sensual and emotional possibilities.

And this possibility can be love. It might be love. We never know.

Her constant thoughts of him, her need and want to be always near him might be love. But she feared her emotions might consume her too much that she might not function well. Or she might forget thinking about herself. Giving her whole heart to him earnestly might be putting all her happiness, all her existence to one person. And entrusting yourself that much to someone is beyond imaginable for Isla. The possibility of immense pain might be guaranteed knowing nothing will be left for herself.

So Isla smiled at Euan as their fingers almost touched. They were at their office building’s rooftop, greeting the dawn with hot coffee in hand. Their mutual want for each other was causing a delicious tingling sensation between them.

This is good. Isla cherished.
She is enough.  Euan smiled.


WOHOO! 45 Followers!! Thank you awesome people!!


This is good news to me! ^^ I will DEFINITELY start posting my story/novel starting January 2016 despite not reaching 50 followers. But, hopefully, I’d reach that count someday.. Anyway, thanks again and have an awesome Holiday!! Stay Epic!!





I hate in-betweens.
I want a direct to and fro.
I want a yes or a No.
I want you to tell me straight up.
Because right now, I’m slightly messed up.

The uncertainty is antagonizing.
I like my black and whites.
The grey parts, I tried to experience for understanding.
But man, do you comfortably play behind implied meanings.

I was never amused of that sort.
I role my eyes when my thoughts dances at possibilities.
I humor myself but halt when carried away.

So, right now tell me.
I’m impatient at this.
I want to know now.
No buts. No maybes.
Just a straight up yes or no.